Cedar's Journey
by Pixen
Summary: What happens when I try my hand at polishing a tu- ah, shall we say... when I take an ancient yet personally nostalgic badly written story about a Mary Sue Original Trainer Do Not Steal and see what happens when I rewrite bits of it? Likely to contain angst, awkward timecuts and people with Poképowers. Title subject to change. Who is Cedar? I guess we're both about to find out!
1. Chapter 1

The day when Cedar's older brother died for the first time started out like any other.

Stirring at barely-there dawn; the young girl grasped the ends of the crisp bedsheet and held them to her chin in solemn wide-eyed silence. Through the open window - curtains billowing gently in the blissfully cool breeze - she heard the first morning calls from the more optimistic bird pokemon.

 _Starly_ , Cedar thought absentmindedly. _Maybe pidgey, too._ She wriggled her toes and threw back the sheet, easing onto the carpet and heading for her parent's room.

Her mother - Jo - opened an eye when Cedar padded into the room. "Hmm? Oh, hey honey. Nightmare?"

"No."

"Just excited about today?"

"Mm-hm."

"C'mon then," Jo said, inching towards the middle of the bed and giving Cedar's father, Scott, a pat on the shoulder. "Move over; we've got company."

Scott grunted and shuffled, and two became three. Cedar dozed, head resting on her mother's shoulder, until the sky lightened enough to stir awake at the sounds of her twin brother and sister staggering blearily out of their own rooms to start the day.

All five eventually convened in the kitchen for a pot of coffee and breakfast.

"Alanna, can you feed Prim?" Jo asked, munching on toast, her eyes much more alert after her second cup.

"I did it yesterday, it's Alan's turn today!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Can someone just feed the darn skitty?" Scott said over his newspaper, and giving it a reinforcing shake.

Prim was already winding about everyone's ankles whilst they ate, plaintive mews louder than the sporadic human conversation around her. Cedar abandoned her Ralts Bubbles and tossed some pokechow in Prim's bowl to calm the situation.

Once breakfast for all was done, Jo recalled Prim and everyone bundled in the car with already packed bags of beach picnic supplies. Scott set his sights and GPS on the highway towards Fuschia City.

"And no _are we there yet_ s, alright?" he said with a smile, casting his warm gaze on the rear vision mirror at the three squished in the back seat; cradling the plastic castle moulds and spades that hadn't fit in the picnic bags.

"Yeah, _Cedar,_ " Alanna said, and gave her little sister a nudge on the arm.

Cedar giggled and elbowed back but thankfully that seemed to be that. The three quieted down and looked out the window at the ever changing scenery as they moved from quaint village to bustling highway road. Cedar kept her ever increasing stomach butterfree to herself as they drew closer and closer to the coast. She loved seeing the ocean every time they visited; loved feeling the ebb and flow of the moon's pull on the tides and immersing her body in the gentle surf and drifting along with it. In fact, she wondered why they didn't go all the time when it felt so amazing. Maybe none of her family liked the feeling quite as much as she did.

"Hey, look, pidove!" Alan said, half his face mashed against the window as he craned his head up at the flock wheeling directly above them.

Jo and Scott stole a few quick glances upwards as well. "I spy something with my little eye, something starting with U," Jo said.

"Unfezant?" Alan smacked the window button with a finger in haste to poke his head out into the wind and search the skies for the evolved form that would be leading the flock. "It's a girl one!"

Scott chuckled. "Put your head back inside, mate. Pidove are rattata with wings. They're everywhere around the big cities."

"When I get my license I'm gonna train one anyway," Alan said with a sniff. "Then I can fly around the whole region."

"Birds don't get big enough to fly on," Alanna replied.

"Do so. Michael's dad has the biggest fearow in the _world_."

"Wild birds might not," Jo said, "but I've seen a pidgeot so big it could support a full grown man."

"So there," Alan whispered, and got his elbow's worth of the car drive.

* * *

The beach was pretty quiet when they trekked down to the start of the sands. A few other families sunbaked and splashed in the surf, some parents giving them a casual wave. Wingull bobbed on the more gentler waves out past the rock outcropping, squawking to each other.

The family made their way down the beach line, setting up the picnic blankets and towels. Whilst Jo slathered sunscreen on the three children, Scott cracked a beer and lay down on his towel to relax.

Cedar wriggled and scrunched up her face at the treatment. Jo was muttering something about neglecting to reapply and ending up red-as-a-corphish last time as she kept a firm grip on Cedar's wrist; so the girl couldn't writhe away before she was done. Alan and Alanna were meanwhile seeing to each other's backs and necks.

Their trial over, the three ran - shrilling at the excitement and the cold shock - right into the surf. Cedar dove in the rest of the way once she was up to her hips. The water's temperature contrasted perfectly with the hot day. She surfaced at the sand's drop-off, feeling the tips of her toes just able to graze the last of it before another step would find her treading water. _This is the best…_

"Don't go too far out!" Jo called from their vantage point, waving at Alan and Alanna who had already broken into a splashing mess of a freestyle race. Cedar waved back at her mother, and moved a bit closer to give her limbs a rest from having to keep her head above water; then played at submerging and opening her eyes under water. All was a fogged-up blur of indistinct blue.

She stood up, frowned, and made her way out of the crashing surf towards her parents. "Did you bring my goggles?"

Back under the water with goggles was as much a treat as it had been the last time they'd vacationed to the beach. Schools of tiny remoraid battled mini currents around the safety of the rocks, turning as one as they nibbled the algae. Cedar chased them about the place, wishing she could turn just as swiftly around in the water and not have to come up for air.

She was just growing bored with this latest game and deciding to make a sandcastle instead when she saw a powerful flash of light from the beach side. Curious, she broke water and took her fogged-up goggles off, squinting.

Jo was flailing - near fully clothed - right into the surf, screaming. Cedar had never heard her mother sound like that. She grabbed at the rock-face and watched Jo rip off her t-shirt and pound further in.

A blastoise was already well in front, churning out to sea. Cedar watched it mutely, hardly realising when her father approached and hoisted her back to land, almost robotic in his speed.

"Stay here," he said tightly, and ran back.

"What's going on?" she asked to the teenager holding an empty pokéball at the water's edge.

"Someone's in trouble out there," she replied, a hand to her eyes. "I told them Shellie could handle any rips or wilds. They shouldn't have gone in too!"

"I don't…" _I don't know what's going on… Alan? Alanna?_

They waited. Cedar fidgeted. Her parents finally swam back in frantically, followed by the blastoise with two motionless figures draped over its shell.

"Mum… Dad?"

Scott picked Alanna up from the blastoise who remained on all fours, and lay her down; getting right into CPR. "Jo, keep this going." His voice cracked and he stared at the people already gathering to the sides. "Get an ambulance!"

A few ran off to their bags and phones as he stood aside so Jo could continue on Alanna, and grabbed Alan the same way. Shellie the blastoise stood up once he'd done so and gurgled deep in her throat in worry. The trainer motioned her away from them.

Cedar walked towards her family and Jo noticed with a quick glance upwards. "Don't look, Cedar," she said, huffing each breath in rhythmic exertion.

"What are you doing?"

"Just leave it!"

Cedar retreated, sniffled once, and began to wail to the sky.

The trainer took her hand. "Your brother and sister have water in their lungs. Mum and Dad are trying to get it all out so they can breathe. It'll be all right."

Cedar's crying gradually subsided at this, and after a few hiccups she focused hard on her siblings from where she was. "The-there's still water there."

"I think so."

"There is." Cedar squeezed her hands in frustration. Alanna's lungs felt full of brine, and soggy in a way they shouldn't have been. _Get out_ , she thought, a little frown appearing on her face, hating the water there and wanting it back in the ocean. _Get out!_

Alanna lurched and spasmed to the side, vomiting the contents of both her stomach and her lungs onto the wet sand, taking a loud, harsh first breath and hacking out a violent coughing fit.

She heard her parents make different - yet just as strange as one another - sounds in their throats at this. Jo and Scott swapped places again: Scott slamming on Alan's chest in desperation and Jo taking Alanna in her arms just as Cedar heard the faint sound of sirens from the road nearby.

Emergency services raced down the beach towards them; human and machoke alike. Cedar cast her gaze their way, back to the still-limp form of her brother, then gripped her hands together, gritted her teeth and _squeezed_ as she'd squeezed before. Shellie, close by, growled in surprise and swung her head around, fixing her with one eye.

Salt water bubbled from Alan's blue-tinged lips. Encouraged, Scott redoubled his last efforts just as the doctors reached them with breathing masks and stretchers. Jo picked Alanna up and put her on one stretcher, Alan the other: now with breathing mask fitted. The machoke hefted them up, one on each end, and coasted back to the road with an odd gait that kept the patients relatively still given the haste to get off the loose sand.

All the squeezing had given Cedar a sore head as she watched all these events unfold. She blinked her exhaustion and to her surprise had to sit down, then lie down; her eyes closing.

By the time Scott came over to pick her up so they could head to the hospital Cedar had already passed out.

* * *

The day when Cedar's older brother died for the second time started out like they all had over the past few weeks. The long drive to the ward passed in silence. Jo and Scott looked even more pale and gaunt under the harsh lights of the hospital corridors as they were escorted to Alan's bedside. Cedar had nearly learned the entire way by now, warren-like as the building was.

Jo's voice echoed in Cedar's head as she approached. _The doctors can't wake him up. Nobody can wake him up, and nobody knows why. The machines are keeping him alive. They're breathing for him, and that keeps his heart beating._

Jo's voice had been a monotone, almost as if she was reading off a script, and that had stopped Cedar from interrupting: _I know why he won't wake up. The lights have already gone out of him._ Except 'lights' wasn't the right word at all, but it was the closest Cedar could manage, because nobody else seemed to talk about these kind of things at all so she could learn the word for it. Ever.

Alan's lights had faded to near nothingness by the time they'd first rushed to the hospital and had him admitted and hooked up in emergency and then finally been able to go to his bedside. From then on it had been a long nightmare of a waiting game; day in, day out. He'd been treated as best as possible, lungs drained of excess fluid, given a brain scan, and by all rights - according to the medical staff - should have woken up within the hour of being treated.

Except he hadn't.

And nobody knew why.

Clustered about his pillow, the whole family stood and looked down at Alan's peaceful expression; his lips parted around the breathing tube and wrists to the ceiling, as if a puppet to the IVs attached on either side. The constant beeping barely noticeable now.

Jo stroked his pale forehead. "Hey, honey." She glanced around at her family and the doctor hovering in the background, and tried to smile. "Should we say g-goodbye together?"

"I don't want to," Alanna said.

"Please, Alanna," Scott said, his head down. "We talked about this."

"You said he might start breathing on his own again," Alanna replied.

The doctor shifted uncomfortably. "There's a slim possibility but we can't-"

"Right," Scott said loudly. "Come here; Cedar, Alanna."

The two children crept forward. Jo gave Alanna the hand she'd been holding, and, tentatively, Cedar took Alan's other hand on the other side of the bed. It was cool and dry to the touch; didn't feel like her big brother's hand at all.

They stayed that way, unspeaking, as the doctor and nurses switched off Alan's life support around them and then made themselves scarce. Minutes later, Alan's chest was still, the beeping noise - now subconsciously anticipated - silenced. Jo's and Scott's shoulders shuddering, little stifled whimpers from Jo as she bent low to the bed, and Alanna's eyes growing wider and wider as she let Alan's hand go and stepped away, her face held tightly then crumpling upon itself as she sobbed.

Cedar used her other hand to try and dash the tears away, then kept her eyes shut longer so she wouldn't have to see her parents trying not to cry; and felt (saw?) Alan's last lights drifting upwards, like golden dust motes catching the sun through an open window, and flickering out one by one.


	2. Chapter 2

A week after Alan's funeral, Alanna lifted her head from its bowed position at the table during an early dinner and fixed a sullen gaze at Jo.

"I wanna apply for a trainer's license," she mumbled, her voice hoarse and low.

"No," Scott said.

Cedar listened from the side, squeezing her fork handle and watching each of her family's expressions change from their established quiet, even morose, introspection to needle-sharp readiness. Her father had already turned back to his meal after the one word dismissal but Jo was staring at Alanna instead, thoughtfully.

"Maybe when you're eighteen."

"That's stupid," Alanna said. "Ten year olds are allowed."

"Nobody's done that for years," Jo said, "and just 'cause it's still legal, doesn't mean it's safe." She stared at her half eaten meal with a frown ever-deepening on her face, and pushed it away a fraction; then looked back to Alanna. "Honey, you've never told us you wanted to train pokémon before. Is this about Alan?"

Alanna looked spurred on by her mother's words, eyes shining with determination and almost a little mania. "I'll go out and catch a pidove, and maybe if we get good enough it will evolve."

"Oh, honey..." Jo went to continue and burst into racking tears instead. Hands at her face, she got up and disappeared into the bathroom. Cedar didn't like it when people cried in the bathroom. It echoed.

Scott glared at Alanna and Cedar in turn, his mouth working unconsciously before he spoke again, his voice husky. "How _dare_ you do this to your mother right now?"

"I didn't do anything," Cedar said.

"Go to your room."

"But I'm still hun-"

"Go! You too, Alanna."

Cedar pushed her chair back and headed upstairs. She was halfway when Alanna shoved past her, practically at a jog; almost as if she was going somewhere besides her mattress which was currently squashed into Cedar's bedroom next to the bed frame.

As Cedar hovered by the door, Alanna grabbed her backpack and started stuffing in a few clothes.

"Don't get in my way," Alanna said, her tone dangerous. "Don't try and stop me."

"I wasn't." She paused, watching the frenzied packing but unable to move herself. "Are you running away?"

Alanna came to the door and snaked past her. "I can't stay here, not any more." She stared at the doorknob to her original bedroom and with a hesitant wince yanked it open. Cedar followed, wondering at the musty scent that had already accumulated within a week. Dust lined the porcelain nicknacks atop Alanna's dresser and bed frame. Alan's 'side' looked untouched from the day they had left for the beach; unmade bed and pokémon battle toys scattered about the floor.

Cedar wished she could cry, then. Her head felt hot, and over-full. She'd tried to cry for Alan the whole time, especially lying in bed each night before sleep took her. The more she tried the less the tears would come. The less sadness she'd feel; as if her heart was empty.

"Alanna, I tried to fix it."

"Shut up, squirt. Go away."

"No, listen. I… made the water come out of you, so you could breath."

Alanna paused with a near-full backpack, her eyes wide and fixed, teeth snarling. "What are you talking about?"

"I tried to help Alan, too, but…"

Alanna stared some more. "What is actually wrong with you? Alan is _dead_ , you… how can you say something like that?"

Cedar shrank back. "But it's true… I'm sorry I couldn't-"

 _"Girls? What is going on up there?"_

"Just shut up!" Alanna grabbed her cap and bolted back into Cedar's room.

Scott thundered up the stairs, seeming stunned when he hit the landing and saw the open bedroom door, until he surged forward and grabbed Cedar's arm. "That's out of bounds. Where's your sister?"

Cedar pointed with the other arm, but Scott kept a hold of her as he went to investigate further. The last the two saw of Alanna was her pale face disappearing out the window as she shimmied down the lattice.

"Don't you _dare!_ "

Scott let go of Cedar, raced down the stairs and was gone through the front door after her. Somewhere, Jo broke into tears again.

Jo and Cedar were both dozing fitfully downstairs as they cuddled on the couch when Scott came back. Shoulders hunched, he barely looked their way and stalked into the kitchen for a beer.

"Where is she?"

"Couldn't bloody catch her. She went off the path! I'll have to go rent a 'mon from the lab, make sure she's not being menaced by something."

"It'll be getting dark soon."

"I'll find her, alright? She'll be headed to Pewter City, anyway. Pretty hard to stay lost there."

"We'll all go. Now."

Scott shook his head. "Stay here with Cedar. I'll go book a motel and talk to the cops."

By the time he'd gone again, the skies had deepened into a vivid red-blue sunset. Jo wordlessly stroked Cedar's hair. Cedar longed to break the awful silence that almost seemed a physical weight - to tell her mother the same thing she'd tried to tell Alanna.

Only then Scott's voice would echo in her mind: _"how_ dare _you do this to your mother right now?"_ and the words failed her just before the eve of their speaking.

Jo's hand slipped down in sleep and her breathing grew heavier. Cedar wriggled carefully out of her mother's lap and decided to take herself to an early bedtime. Once upstairs, she leaned out the window kneeling on her bed, and watched the first stars come out.

"Alanna," she whispered. "Good luck."

Scott stayed in Pewter City an entire week with a seasoned growlithe at his side, and didn't find Alanna the whole time. They put up posters, fliers; did a letterbox drop. It even went out on the news. Each day Jo would get the call, and her face would sag back into blankness. One day, though, it morphed into all lines and edges; and then Jo was shrieking through the handset: "Someone knows where she is, by Arc! Someone is _hiding my little girl!"_

Each night Cedar would wish her good luck into the open air. The house was even more silent now without her sister's constant chatter and smug disposition. She wondered if it was fair, wishing Alanna all the best on her journey when her parents were just about breaking down somehow during every moment of the day. And yet, even with the ache of her absence making the numb hole in her heart just that little bit bigger inside, Cedar couldn't help the smile creeping on her face whenever she thought of Alanna training… battling… winning, even.

And so the weeks went by, then the months. The twins's sixteenth birthday went unspoken, if not unnoticed. Jo lit a candle like they'd always done in the family tradition: one big candle swirled in complementary colours. It must have melted all the way down that night unattended; Cedar came downstairs the next morning to a mess of hardened wax adorning the dining table. By lunchtime it was gone, and that was that.

Jo barely said a word any longer. Scott brooded whether seated or standing, his eyes empty. Cedar avoided both her parents for their sake as much as hers. They ghosted round the house too big for three, going through the motions, until one night watching the League semifinals with painful indifference.

 _"And the rookie takes the first move!"_

 _"Petra, I choose you!"_

Cedar saw as her mother blinked back into the space at the tinny sound of the trainer's voice, blinked and focused intently upon the screen; near falling out of her chair.

"Scott," she said.

 _"Petra the graveler faces off against Abby the charmeleon - and they're into it straight away, Abby charging into a full frontal tackle - oh, but there's Petra's quick-smart defence curl: she doesn't even budge."_

"That's her voice," Jo said.

The three watched in tense silence as the teen and her graveler navigated through the battle against their faster opponent. Abby kept dodging any of Petra's lumbering offensive attacks but wasn't able to make much of a dent with fire or physical moves.

The camera zoomed up on Alanna's furrowed face. She seemed more worn; older. Different clothes. She'd dyed her hair, too.

 _"Petra! Try some magnitude!"_

 _"Abby, get outta there!"_

Petra roared and sunk her hands into the arena floor. The charmeleon scrambled away on all fours but the entire grounds were already beginning to shake. Petra bellowed again and rode the juddering earth until it near rent in two down the middle; leaving the entire arena scarred.

Abby lay still, battered and bloodied under the shade of a boulder at the far end.

 _"There's Magnitude 10!"_ the announcer yelled. _"What a show! Who will be next to face up against - oh, not wasting any time, and it's… Poliwhirl! Petra may be in trouble."_

 _"Rollout!"_

 _"Water gun!"_

"That's bold, keeping her in the field," Scott muttered.

"She may not have another type advantage."

That was the most Jo had said in days. Cedar took her attention off the battling pokémon and saw fire dancing in both her parent's faces. Both seemed reluctant to do anything but watch the ensuing match. Perhaps that was all any of them could do right now.

Petra took the full brunt of the water gun attack as she spun towards Poliwhirl. Her opponent stopped the attack too late - perhaps he hadn't been paying attention to how close she was - and she slammed full into him.

Poliwhirl went flying. Petra lumbered to a standstill and uncurled her arms and body, panting heavily. Water dripped off her rocky scales. She reached for her opposing arm and plucked a loose scale out with a wince, then stood ready.

 _"Poliwhirl is nowhere to be seen!"_

 _"He's somewhere in the rocks!"_ Alanna yelled down into the arena. _"Knock them down with your next Rollout!"_

Petra went on the offensive again and rammed into the boulders, losing momentum each time but keeping the pattern up with violent roars to accompany each attack. Soon enough she found Poliwhirl and glowered down at him before launching into another spin.

Poliwhirl cried out and lashed out with a gloved hand, stopping Petra's roll and gripping on firmly.

"Bubble beam!"

The attack blasted out.

Petra screeched under the deluge and the camera switched to Alanna's desperate looking face.

"Hold him! It's time!"

The graveler took Poliwhirl's free hand and the pair glared at each other before Petra smiled malevolently. Her eyes began to shine. Soon enough, light started glancing out from the gaps between her scales.

Alanna's opponent gasped through her microphone. "No! Get away from her!"

It was no use. Poliwhirl yanked uselessly at Petra's rocksteady grip and fell to the ground, his feet scrabbling and unable to gain any traction.

Petra roared once, twice, and her entire body shone brilliant before the white-hot explosion rang out; sending feedback through the speakers and thrumming for seconds before the heat and light faded.

Dust blew eerily through the arena. The pair of pokémon remained in a death grip at the epicenter's crater. The noise of the crowd was hushed besides a few whoops and hollers from the bolder folk.

Poliwhirl lay there limply, completely still. Scales blackened and charred, Petra blinked once and practically groaned her last victory roar, then her eyes closed and she collapsed on top of him.

The crowd went wild, but Alanna only gave them a small salute before looking nervously down at the scene and adjusting her earphones as if listening intently.

 _"We're going to the referee."_

"Did she win?" Cedar asked.

"Explosion is not a little league move," Scott replied. "She'll be in trouble."

"Recall both pokémon," the referee said through her microphone headset, gesturing robotically, her small flags waving the equivalent message up to the trainer's stands. Once done, she faced the middle of the arena, her arms back at her sides.

"Petra was the last standing, so she is the winner of the last semifinal match. However, Trainer Azure is disqualified from the finals. Neither Trainer moves forward. Thank you."

"You're kidding m-!" the other trainer said, before her headset was disconnected from the speakers and the TV flashed back to the two commentators at the studio.

Scott turned the TV to mute and took Jo's arm. "Come on, you two. Let's get to the local station. We have our own broadcast to make."

Scott and Jo sat in front of the cameras and pleaded for Alanna - or Azure - to come home, just for a while, just to talk.

"Please, Azure. Alanna. We're not angry. We just miss you. Please come back. We love you so much."

The broadcast streamed on the local Pallet Town station at first, but then as luck would have it: a high profile nationwide channel picked it up and soon enough their pleas went viral. The news stations couldn't get enough of the human interest story, offering debates, conversations amongst presenters for the entire week afterwards; from the tragic tale to the debates on the highly decisive match itself.

Then, two days later, someone knocked on the front door.

"No reporters!" Jo said as she started unlatching it. "We don't have anything else to..."

"Hi, Mum," Alanna said.


End file.
